Auschwitz

This is the post I've been dreading.  As a 21st century woman of privilege, I feel humbled and inadequate to address the subject of Auschwitz, but the truth is Auschwitz was really the centerpiece of our trip.  When we talked to our friends about making this trip, they often replied that it was not a trip they wanted to take.  We knew it was going to be a difficult experience, but this was something we were both committed to doing and I think we were both glad to be making this trip with each other..

Cindy made arrangements for us to have a private guide, which proved to be a very wise choice.  I highly recommend doing this as I have participated in many group tours and I know how easy it is to lose important points the guide is making when you end up at the back of the pack.  This site really demands intense focus, and being in a group of three facilitates that kind of concentration.

Our driver met us outside our hotel at 9 a.m. and drove us to Oswiecim in his minibus.  During the drive we saw a monastery on the top of a hill.  Our driver revealed that it had been used by the Nazis during World War II.  Today it is a restaurant and popular wedding site.  We were both struck by that.  How does one knowingly schedule a wedding at a site with that kind of taint?

We saw a Bactrian Camel (two humps) outside a restaurant called the Flamingo--in the snow, mind you.  I also saw stars of David in graffiti on the walls of a building.  Neither Cindy nor the driver noticed them.  These sights were disconcerting in wildly different ways, but I was particularly bothered by the graffiti.  Did I imagine it?  Was this what I was expecting to see?

Once we arrived, our driver took us to the welcome center while he went in search of our guide. 

 The center had an iron curtain quality to it.  It seemed a bit rundown and anachronistic. 

Our guide was named Jacek, a young-ish (late 30s/early 40s), very intense and knowledgeable young man.  If I remember correctly, he held an important position at the Auschwitz educational organization.  He wasted no time in starting the tour.  The dreariness of the morning seemed apt as we walked through these infamous gates.

There was so much to learn; it was hard to take it all in while confronted by these horrific sites and devastating data. 

There were many useful informational signs throughout the camp which offered facts I hadn't known previously.

There were architectural features which took me by surprise as well, such as this guard shelter.

I was also struck by this sign, which says, "the corpses of prisoners shot while trying to escape were displayed here as a warning to others."

There were numerous signs which were reminders of well-known details about life (such as it was) at the camp.

It is appalling to read about the expansion efforts by the SS.  I was surprised to read that they added eight buildings to the original 20 in Auschwitz I, as well as a second story to 14 other buildings.  As we all know from many sources, the guards beat their prisoner crew at the slightest provocation, and sometimes completely without provocation.

Most people know well the reputation of Auschwitz as the worst of the Death Camps.  This graphic emphasized the scope of its power, indicating the transit camps which transported prisoners to Auschwitz.

We saw the expected displays of shoes, luggage, toys and hair.

Even though I thought I was prepared for them, it was still difficult to encounter them in this venue.  The hair, in particular, upset me.  The piles of hair were in nearly colorless heaps.  A friend of mine said, "What did you expect?  Of course the hair was without color.  Hair color fades with time."  I thought about that and realized that what really got to me were the occasional bits of colored hair--a swatch of red or blonde, black or distinctively brown.  It was those spots of color which touched my heart because they represented life.

The display of the prosthetic limbs and crutches was also particularly moving.

I've spent the summer reading Holocaust books.  As I've read the various testimonies, especially those of Auschwitz survivors, I have been struck in a more palpable way than before I visited the camp, by the reality of their stories.  I find myself faced with a much clearer sense for what people experienced.  It is easier to place myself at the scene as I read the stories of those who described the daily humiliations and acts of torture.


I think I understand with greater intensity what it meant to have to strip naked before the enemy while menstruating and to be deprived of all sense of one's own humanity.  I perceive what it must have been like to subsist on three sips of ersatz coffee and bits of bread.

As we walked through the camp, visiting this or that building containing various displays, I felt the horror building.  It was probably intentional for our guide to bring us to Block 11 toward the end of our visit to Auschwitz I.  There we saw the standing cells where prisoners were forced to stand through the night after having worked all day and consumed only the barest of meals, only to be returned to this cell day after day for upwards of twelve days.

Not everybody could withstand this torture.

We saw the wall of death where prisoners had their hands cuffed behind their backs and were then hanged from their raised arms, a most painful posture leading to death.

We saw the shooting wall,

we saw canisters of Zyclon B and noted where it had been tested on Russian POWs.

Our final stop at Auschwitz I was at the perimeter of the camp, in front of a hanging gallows, within view of the Commandant's home/villa.

Jacek told us that Hoess had been hanged right there in the camp.

I asked if it had been a public, private or secret hanging.  He said it had been secret, which was no surprise.  What did surprise me was my reaction.  It was at that moment that my emotions overtook me.  I was vibrating I was so upset.  Through tears of anger, no...hatred, I said, "I would have paid good money to see that Son of a Bitch hanged."

Our tour continued at Auschwitz II-Birkenau, the women's camp, a short trip by minibus.  By the time we got there, the clouds were clearing.  The contrast with Auschwitz I was remarkable.  Auschwitz II-Birkenau was enormous.

Most of the buildings have been leveled, but there are enough structures still standing to give a clear sense for what that place was like.  The railroad tracks divide the camp, and you can still see the outline of the selection place.

The gas chambers and crematoria have been leveled, but the rubble remains.  It was blocked off giving the impression of a toxic waste site.

We walked through one of the barracks and also the latrine and washrooms.  We saw the building where evil doctors did their experiments on the women.

Some of the buildings were propped up because they were in danger of falling down, they had been so poorly constructed.

It was an overwhelming experience.  Recollecting what what we saw and how I felt, has not been easy.  I am glad I went.  I felt as though my visit was a way of paying homage to the victims, however poor a gesture it might be.