Reflections on "Home"

My husband, Jim Perlman, the Holy Cow of Holy Cow! Press, has been soliciting manuscripts for a new anthology he's putting together on the theme of Home (btw, the deadline has passed, so don't even think about it).  I entertained the idea of writing something for consideration, but decided against it on a number of grounds:  1)  I'm not a published creative writer; 2) I'm married to the publisher and that would just be weird; AND, 3)  I didn't have anything in the hopper.  Nevertheless, I have felt inspired to write about "home" given the theme of this blog.

I am a product of the second half of the 20th century--meaning, I am a peripatetic American.  I was born in Boston (actually Brookline was the site of the hospital where my Mother delivered me), spent early summers and holidays on Long Island, New York where both my parents were raised, moved to Kansas when I was 3, and Arizona when I was 5. In other words, we lived far away from both parents' extended families.  Long distance phone calls, as well as visits--of course, from our relatives were grand occasions. We prepared for weeks for visits by someone from Dad's family. Somehow, Mom's family never made it out west.  After settling in Arizona, our family made only two big visits back East, because--let's face it--it was expensive to travel with four kids.

Most of our travels during my childhood were focused on the west.  I spent many of my summers growing up in California where my Dad took summer employment at exotic places like Edwards Air Force Base, and China Lake Naval Weapons Ordinance Control Center, and later, Jet Propulsion Laboratory.  The year I graduated high school, however, my Dad took the whole family to England and Germany for his sabbatical year.

Returning from Europe, I spent the next three years at the University of Arizona in my "home town" of Tucson, only to bolt out of there the day after graduation for a new adventure in Minnesota.  I was following my heart to be with my then-boyfriend, now-husband.  We stayed in Minneapolis for a year and then moved to Iowa City where we both attended graduate school.

I landed my first professional teaching job at Illinois State University in Normal/Bloomington.  While there, in spite/because we were having a long distance relationship (Jim stayed in Iowa city), Jim and I finally got married and had our oldest son.  I stayed there three years, and then returned to Iowa City as a visiting prof at my Ph.D. alma mater -- the University of Iowa.  Our oldest daughter was born in Iowa City.  After two years as a visitor, it was time to move on to a tenure-track position.  Visiting professor status was not particularly conducive to career stability.  I chose the University of Wisconsin Stevens Point as my next employer--primarily because one of my best buds from grad school was on the faculty there.  We had our second daughter/third child in Stevens Point, and then felt compelled to move closer to my husband's family in Minnesota.  Both his parents were getting older and his two sisters lived in the Twin Cities with their families.

We arrived in Duluth almost 24 years ago on August 1, 1988.  This is OUR home and, by the way, we had our second son, fourth child here.  This is where we have made our life.  Duluth is where we live.  Duluth is where I work.  Duluth is where we bought our first and only house.  Duluth is where our four kids attended school, one of whom even graduated  from UMD.   Is it home?  I think so, but I hesitate.

 

I yearn for the mountains and Mexican culture of Tucson. Whenever I fly in to Tucson, I get a little thrill looking at the landscape of desert and mountains.  I love seeing "A" Mountain, San Xavier, the U of A.  I love spying Kitt Peak as we drive from Catalina in to Tucson proper.  These are all the landmarks which were a big part of my childhood.  Clearly,  I still think of Tucson as home in many, many ways.   For many years, I think Tucson still seemed like home to me because that's where my parents lived.  They've both passed on, but my youngest daughter,  my sister and her husband, and my dearest friend still live there.  Regardless, it is the place I'm from, the place I grew up, the place I continue to call "home".

As I thought about what to say in this post, a verse from a lovely song kept echoing in my brain.  Nancy Reinhold writes in "Leave a Little Light": 

When we’re homesick it’s not for places

So much as the faces of the people that we know
And the road that we take is built on a landscape
Of each of our loving souls

Yes, I believe a big part of what is "home" to me is the "faces of the people that we know".  I guess that's why I, and I imagine many others, face challenges when considering what is "home".  The people we love play such an enormous role in what constitutes home.

My Mother used to say that I was always ready to hit the road.  She told a story about when my dad contracted pneumonia while completing his Ph.D. at Harvard.  It was too much for her to handle on her own, so she called upon my grandparents to drive up from New York and to collect me and my sister. That way, my Mom could care for my dad while he recuperated.  Mother said as soon as I heard Grandma and Grandpa were on their way, I headed up to my bedroom, donned my Easter best (bonnet and all--even though I was filthy dirty from playing), packed a little bag and waited impatiently for them to whisk me away to West Hempstead. 

It's true, I love being on the road.  I love being in new places, learning about new cultures and experiencing new food, music, art and landscapes.  I have stayed true to my peripatetic nature all these years.  And yet, I always find myself ready to come home.

What am I going to miss while I'm in England?  Yes, it's "the faces of the people" I know.  I will miss my husband, I will miss my four children, and I will miss my friends.  I never feel quite whole without them.

I will also miss that great big lake down the road.  I will miss the trees and the hills of Duluth.  The landscape of THIS place is also a part of me.

Another of my favorite songs addresses this theme.  Karla Bonoff wirtes:

Traveling at night,
The headlights were bright.
But soon the sun came through the trees
Around the next bend
The flowers will send
The sweet scent of home in the breeze

And Home
Sings me of sweet things
My life there has its own wings
To fly over the mountains
Though I'm standing still 

So...home is all these things--people/loved ones first and foremost, but places--landscapes, flora, fauna, landmarks--too. 

Community Building (and digging, and raking, and hauling, and ...)

I just got back from an hour and a half of volunteer work at Chester Bowl.  The number of people who came out to help repair the park was phenomenal.  According to an article in the Duluth News Tribune on June 26, more than 400 people came out.  I overheard someone say that Chester Bowl Director Thom Storm had expected only 25-60 people.  It was heartening to see so many families, but truly it was a cross-section of the entire population of the city.  For the most part, I was shoulder-to-shoulder with people I've never met before this evening.  The spirit of the event was so calm, so focused and so purposeful.  It made me incredibly proud to be a citizen of this great city.

Chester Bowl is a wonderful park.  Our kids have run there, skied there, hiked there and hung out there.  Our family and our Temple Israel community have held annual picnics there. It's where we hold our annual Tashlich service.  It's a lovely site and, unfortunately, it was not spared by the flood:
 
http://www.chesterbowl.org/uncategorized/flood-photos/


The call went out Saturday night to people who had signed up on the United Way site to volunteer.  If you would like to participate in upcoming volunteer opportunities, go to this site:

http://volunteer.truist.com/hgdvc/survey/?survey_id=10530197798 
 

There were a number of options for people to select, but this was the one that fit me best.  I would have liked to work at Hartley on Sunday, but I was out of town during the time of the scheduled work session.  I know  there will be more opportunities to lend a hand, and indeed there's an opportunity at Chester Bowl next Monday--same time, same location..  There is so much left to do throughout this city I am sure there will be a tremendous number of activities for weeks to come.

http://www.northlandsnewscenter.com/home/Sweat-Relief-Efforts-at-Chester-Bowl-160332265.html?vid=a

Ninety minutes of assistance isn't sufficient given the devastating level of damage, but it's something.  I look forward to hoisting my shovel and rake again next week.

Stay tuned....

Imagining Disaster

I've titled this blog "MaPP's Adventures" with the intention that I would chart my journey to the UK (and later Europe).  Still, what's happened in Duluth got me thinking about what would happen if I had to face a weather disaster during my travels similar to what we've been dealing with here in Duluth.  I hope I've learned something from the past day.

This day has been a record breaker.  This was the headline on a weather site: 

Wettest June Day, Second Wettest All-Time in 142-Year Rainfall Record

As someone who was raised in Arizona, I've always been a big fan of rain.  I'll take any kind of rain--drizzle, downpours, thunderstorms, unceasing-yet-steady-and-middling-rain, you name it, I like it.   As a kid, I always associated rain with a particular smell.  It was the smell of creosote after an August monsoon, and boy-o-boy was it refreshing.

That longstanding love of rain has been sorely tested over the past 24 + hours.  Our local news reports that we've had 10.1 inches of rain and counting, although the airport says it's closer to 7.8.  We're still getting a little drizzle, so I think the jury's out on the final tally.

I had my own little adventure in the rain this morning.  Technically, I've been on jury duty since June 11.  Every evening at 5 I've faithfully called the jury number only to learn that I wouldn't have to show up the next day.  Last night, as luck would have it, I learned I was expected in the jury room no later than 8:15 this morning.

I set the alarm for 6, thinking I might be able to shower and then walk to the courthouse.    Yeah...that wasn't going to happen.  The rain hadn't let up all night, and it was coming down in sheets by the time I needed to get going.  Most days of the year I live on Woodland Avenue.  Last night and this morning, I lived on Woodland River.  I decided to drive--something I've been studiously avoiding (if I could help it) for the past year--mostly so I could get my "walk" on and count some serious steps.  I relented and got in to the Red Monster (my 1995 Dodge Caravan), and headed to Caribou at Mt. Royal for my Northern Lights Spicy Mocha with Milk Chocolate.  The simple act of walking those few steps to the front of the grocery store (while wearing a raincoat and hoisting an umbrella aloft), soaked my trouser legs.

With the coffee cup in its holder, I headed downtown on 3rd Street.  Mind you, all last night, our weather dude kept emphasizing--"DON'T cross a road under water; it takes only six inches to carry off a car."  Well...so much for that advice.  How many rivers did I cross?  Check out the photos of 3rd and 3rd East posted on Facebook and news media sites.  It was TORRENTIAL.  The water was GUSHING out of the manholes down the street toward the lake. Beyond the water, there were stones (not pebbles), rocks, asphalt, sticks, branches--and SINKHOLES!

Entering the jury room, the mood was palpable--my fellow fish in the pool were not happy.  Everyone had a struggle story.  Still--there we were.  We listened to the introduction and watched the film telling us how to be good jurors.  We picked up our puzzles, our books, or our phones and set about the business of waiting.  At 9:30, a judge walked in to tell us we were excused.  Well, really, that was fine, but a little frustrating. Coming back wasn't as hard as the trip in, but the roads were in bad, bad shape. I made it home just fine, but really glad to back at home.

I've been so impressed by the Social Media community today.  Photos from all over the city kept popping up throughout the day on Facebook, showing the extent of damage this city has endured.   It's amazing that no one was seriously hurt (as least as far as I know).  There was harrowing tale of the little 8-year-old from Louisiana up here to visit his Duluth relatives who was sucked in to the sewer only to be spat out in the woods a mile away with a gash on his forehead.  There was also the sad story about the demise of 14 farm animals at the Lake Superior Zoo, but the upside of returning Berlin the Polar Bear to her zoo home after a quick escape.  Two seals were washed out of their enclosures on to the road for a scary time, but safely brought back to their zoo home.

So...what's the lesson?  What can I take from this experience on my jaunt across the pond?  I think it's the message of my friend Lucie, who wrote about walking down the road to help the driver whose car was dropped down a sinkhole.  It's the story about neighbors who pitched in to clean up the road.  It's the offer from friends from the Twin Cities to come up here to help wherever they're needed.  If you can help, you should.

What a day.

Installment #2--Seeking Train Travel Tips

Nina's helping me figure out the best strategy for the continental travel I want to do (seeing camps, etc.).  I'm keen on getting a rail pass so I can hop on and off as I make my way through Central Europe.

It's the first time in a long time that I would like to be older than I am.  The travel discounts seem to kick in after age 60.  The real frustration is that I'm only a few years off the mark.  I think I would be more comfortable jumping on a tour, but I'm not sure that's going to work in the months I'm free to travel (December/January).  I'm a bit of a nervous traveler (to which my children and sister would guffaw), so I'd do best with someone accompanying me.  On the other hand, it's about time I grew up and faced some of those fears.

I'm hoping someone will offer some good advice about the best strategies for seeing the camps I'm most interested to see (Buchenwald, Terezin, Auschwitz).  I'm also wondering if anyone has any recommendations about educator discounts, tour possibilities, etc.  My language skills are almost non-existent at this point.  I don't think my German will help much.  The last time I tried using it someone told me to "please stop--you're hurting my ears." :(

Looking forward to hearing some good ideas.

It's official--I'm going to England and there's no turning back.

It's a muggy June evening in Duluth.  My clever daughter Nina helped my husband and me purchase our tickets, since there didn't seem to be anything better to do.  Truly, I'm quite excited.  I think I've put this off because I knew that once I bought the tickets I would start obsessing about the trip--or should I say, the journey.  I remember the first time I went to England in 1972.  I must have dreamed about what it would be like, night after night for months ahead of time.  I envisioned the hedges by the side of the roads, the narrow lanes and the old homes.  I got it just about right.  I didn't know Cranfield would be quite as small as it was, but I wasn't disappointed.  I've seen many photos of Worcester, so there's not much mystery with what to expect from the physical environment.

I have so many goals for this trip.  I am revamping one of my courses, Deciding What's News, and I'm also thinking about how to make Interpersonal more Interculturally centered.  I do hope some British students will enroll in both classes.  It would be so much more engaging if they do.  I have three new books for DWN, and some new ideas about case studies to use.  Watergate will remain a centerpiece, but I'll be adding Murdoch, for sure. 

Beyond the work, I'm really hoping to do a LOT of traveling.  In England proper, I hope to get to Bath (again), Stratford (again), Canterbury (for the first time), London (again), and some village jaunts.  I am thinking it would be fun to get to know the villages surrounding Worcester.

Jim and I are traveling first to Edinburgh and then to St. Andrews.  We will be visiting with one of Jim's authors.  I hope we'll be able to travel about Scotland a bit before traveling back down to Worcester.

During school breaks, I will be going to Digoin, France and Ireland.  Once the term is up, I want to go to Berlin, Buchenwald, Prague, Teresienstadt, Warsaw, Krakow and Auschwitz.  I hope I can do it all, but we'll see.

Regardless, there is a lot to do before we leave.  Stay tuned...